Thank you!

Kind regards
Niclas

Becoming a father was a reluctant choice – an unnerving experience, waiting at the hospital – the smell still lingers strongly. I vividly remember the intrusive procedure, the graceful violence and brilliant colours of cesarean birth under incandescent lights – and the small, reddish face, eyes shut, and gut-wrenching sounds. I wondered about the small, bloodied, helpless little body, and how on earth I will ever manage this responsibility. I wondered fearfully, trembled when I first held him, enveloped in uncertainty – until he opened his eyes, stared at me – and everything changed!

There is no greater contribution that a man can make than preparing his child to find their way in the world. All my training in fatherhood is pretty much on the job. There is no “blue print” for how a family should be, and watching my son play, explore and rip apart most things in the house, I am very hesitant of the responsibility for the following years. It is as Shakespeare asserted: “The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants.” That is an enormous responsibility.

As a boy I step over to this great monolith of fatherhood, unprepared with all the fear of that small child, and reaching down, place beside it the role model of my own father – and his father before him, and his father before him – praying all the while that this fulcrum will not collapse as I balance and steer my own course through the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.

Agility in this sense is about adaptability. It is impossible to follow a recipe.

Thank you for this post. It goes to the heart of things!